Monday, June 7, 2010
Constant Whining = Insanity
I'm back to this posting thing again. Sorry it has been so long. I have been having a really hard time. I hate that I have been having such a hard time, I'm sick of being sick and I wish I could just suck it up and move on with my life. Henry has been particularly difficult in this already difficult time. I had thought he was getting better in the whining department but alas, he has not. I cry almost everyday. Henry whines or screams 90% of the time he is awake when I am around. He cried 5% of the time when I am gone and my sister or brother-in-law is watching him. For example, I needed to run an errand and Henry was whining and fussing all day long, even when I played with him. So, my BIL (brother-in-law) says I can just leave him there while I run to the store. So, I leave and try to hurry because I am worried that Henry is driving my BIL crazy with his whining and fussing. I am gone about an hour. I return and Henry is there playing happy as a lark. I ask my BIL if he was just a terror the whole time with his fussing an he informs be that Henry never fussed or whined a single time. Of course, by this time Henry realizes that I am back and has proceeded to start whining and clinging to me. Never cried once when I was gone but starts back up as soon as I come back. What am I doing wrong? I must have done something wrong. I must not hold him enough, but people tell me he does this because I always pick him up. So, I have started to ignor his temper tantrums and constant whining but he doesn't stop and it makes me want to jump out a window to listen to it all day. So, I cry because there si nothing I can do. It wasn't just a fluke that he didn't cry while I was gone the one time. We have tried it several times since and it's always the same, happy, happy boy while I am gone and distressed toddler when I return. I am crying now as I write this. I am so frustrated right now, I love my little boy but I am slowly being driven insane by the crying. I know babies cry but this is beyond what I ever imagined. It's seems to be for no reason, he has just woke from a good nap, eaten and been changed but he is unhappy still! I want to enjoy my little boy, play with him and teach him. Some people tell me its because he senses I am stressed but I don't know how to stop being stressed! What am I to do? Has anyone else ever had this experience with a constantly crying baby? Is something wrong with him? We know something is wrong with me...
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My oldest little guy has been "moody" lately. I guess that's the best way to put it. He whines, and cries if something doesn't go just exactly his way. Far be it for me to give you advice, but now that I have two kiddos I realize that all kids are different. They each have their own special personalities, and also a lot has to do with age. Obviously he knows how to not whine or cry because he can do it when you are gone. My guess is that he knows you are his mommy and that means security to him. It means he feels safe enough to take liberty and act that way because he knows you will love him no matter what. Kids are great manipulators! Just breath momma. It will all work itself out with time.
ReplyDeleteWhen Myles gets fussy and clingy like that I try to get him around other kids, or go outside. It normally helps both of us, because I get social interaction/sunshine as well as him. I don't know if that would work for Henry... but you could try. Also...possibly he is getting molars?
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Hi hon:) you may think my crazy when I say this but I truely believe children especially young children feed off our energy much like animals do. They sense when we are upset frustrated or angry. They don't know the reason behind the feeling however they can sense it and feed off of it. You are his mother you and Danny are guidance and example in this world. To him he may think that's how he is supposed to act or he may very possibly not put any thought behind it at all as he is a young child he may just be following your example. I read once that everyone has an aura about them and children can sense or even see it and this is really what I have been trying to explain that Henry may see or feel your aura and be tryin to memic it just like he does with other authority figures when your not around. I'm in no way trying to say your a bad mom or its your fault he is that way I would look at it more as maybe a miscomunication. You are trying to convey love and happiness to him and he sees that but he also sees more (your aura) that you maybe were trying to hide from him. So he is getting mixed signals? Im not sure I'm not so good at this stuff but I do love you and I did want to offer an opinion. I know when I'm stressed out when I hold my nephews they sense it and they become stressed as well. The opposite effect works as well when they are upset I take a deep breath and try my best to be patient and calmly sooth them and they calm as well. It does take great effort because its not something you can fake you truely have to make it happen. They are smart lil things they can sense false feeling. Again this is all my opinion. I think the important thing is to work on one thing at a time small steps. Looking or taking on too much at once is overwhelming and discouraging. Don't fret the small stuff or set backs try each day to do better try to learn from prior setbacks. Don't look at it as failing because its not your human your not perfect we are here to learn and grow. Everything happens for a reason! setbacks are inevitable so study them learn from them. When I say study I don't mean look at everything you did wrong and criticize yourself over it I mean really stop and look at what happened what led up to the set back and what can you do to not let it happen in the future. Also what can you learn from the experience? I truely believe the more you work on yourself making yourself happy and improving who you are as a person I truely think your relationship with Danny and Henry will improve. As well as your relationship with those around you. Again I'm not trying to place blame on you or say everything is your fault I have just learned that the only person you can change is you and by working on yourself it usually helps the other areas of your life. Sorry this is so long I didn't mean for it to be i just started typing and it just kept coming. Sorry if none of this is what you want or need to hear. I won't be offened if you delete the post. Just know ill always be your friend and i love you no matter what. I'm always here if you need me.
ReplyDeleteSorry I know my post was missing necessary commas periods and such but it was all typed on my phone gettin the words out was hard enough ;) so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice guys. I do believe that children can sense your feelings. Thats why I am sure he is more stressed wound me, Danny never gets stressed! Yesterday was a great day, I sarted it off really positive, I was determined not to let his whining turn me into a big ball of stress. It was frustrating at times but I even had enough patience to play with him for a good 45 mins right before bedtime. Then, he proceeded to throw a tantrum even though I wasn't stressed in the least so off to bed for Henry! :) Thanks for the support. I am trying to take each day at a time.
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